The day they pointed that gun at me

I had passed my test and it was time to get a bike. I knew the type I wanted, just didn't know what they were called. I didn't even know what the style was called. I was after a custom bike. I was on a limited budget (no change there) and eventually found a bike for £900 in a local second‑hand dealership. I went to look at this strange import bike from the USA. The bike was a Yamaha Radian 600, replete with steering damper and an aggressive roar! I loved it, in my eyes that tear‑drop tank and bell‑mouth exhausts transformed into a Harley Sportster. I had to have it and I did.

The handling was a little odd and I put it down to it being a new bike, also the fact that I hadn't ridden for a few years for any length of time. I happily trundled to work and back feeling like the coolest kid on the block. One morning it was particularly quiet on the Fulham Palace road and I decided to rip her open to see what she could do. I got up to 70 when I spotted a flash of yellow behind a lamppost. I grabbed a handful of brake and clenched my teeth and my arse (in that order), while hoping for the best. I managed to slow down safely enough, just not quickly enough. The next thing I saw was Mr. Speedgun and his partner leap into the road with faces like smacked arses.

"Get off the bike", Speedgun bellowed. "How fast were you going", he demanded. Tentatively I replied, "About 35". It was more of a question than a statement because, I knew that he knew that I knew he knew how fast I was actually going.
"You were doing 53" he barked "and you were f'kin braking"! Speedgun's partner stared menacingly at me knowing full well I wasn't used to Old Bill.
"Look around, what do you see"? I looked around but before I could answer he asked gently, "Have you got any kids"? I replied that I had one, a little girl. At this point I wish I'd kept my mouth shut, Speedgun went absolutely mental. He was screaming and shouting and eventually he screams, "What's that?" I turned to see a children's nursery right across the road from where we were standing. I got the obligatory tale of woe, "What if your daughter…" etc etc

They asked me what I thought I was doing and I recalled a story my instructor has told me about a chase he'd had up the M4 only he hadn't realised he was being chased by Old Bill at over a ton at 03:00 one morning. He had been honest and got let off because they couldn't be bothered. I took the same tac. I explained that I used that road four days and four nights straight (working shift) and that I had grown up playing near the road all my life. I explained that the road was eerily quiet and that the bike was quite new. I also explained my desire to test the bikes handling while I had the chance. It seemed lame but it was true.

The pair of them stared at me for what seemed like forever until Speedgun's buddy finally thrust his hand towards me, "Promise me you'll read this", "Okay, I will" "Promise?" "Yes, of course". The thoughtful policeman had handed me a road safety leaflet which I duly read. As I walked towards my bike Speedgun shouted after me "Seriously mate, be careful it is dangerous for us out there". I hadn't actually noticed until he said that, they were actually motorcycle units. Made sense really.