Llandudno Review

I had promised Alison that I would take her to the north Wales coast one Wednesday when she finished work. The Wednesday we had chosen wasn't looking too good, the weather was a mix of feeble drizzle and manic downpour that seems to typify this years "summer". Not to be deterred I got the kit together, camera, leather jeans, gloves etc.

Alison returned from work at 14:00 and dragged the sunshine kicking and screaming with her. I opted for the most direct route, A51 from Crewe to the A55 straight to Llandudno.

The A51 is quite interesting for an A road and offers a mix of cottages, hamlets, coach houses and a canal. The road tends to be lined with tall foliage or trees, which is so typical of the Cheshire landscape. The A55 on the other hand is very open and prone to cross winds. The contrast between counties and in this case country always astounds me. The view of the North Wales hills and headland as you descend into the first of the valleys is frankly breath taking. As we got past Abergele the road follows the coast and we relaxed somewhat knowing our destination was close. I had decided to surprise Alison with Conway.

Conway town is wholly built within the fortifications of the local castle or as the Welsh call it 'castell'. Conway castle was built in just 5 years starting in 1283 when Edward 1st decided to subdue the Welsh (that didn't work, did it)! After a brief trot around the town we headed back towards the coast and Bangor, the idea was to head into the hills and take in the views from high up.

We were not disappointed. We followed some tiny lanes upward and around some precipitous bends winding ever higher. We actually ended up doubling back on ourselves and getting back to Conway. Starting to feel peckish we plumped for fish and chips in Llandudno. As seaside towns go Llandudno is lovely with an immaculate promenade and well kept/themed town centre. You don't have the typical seaside pound shop tat screaming at you from every shop front. The time had come to head off again and we decided to go around the Great Orm. The Orm is a cliff top road that gives uninterrupted views of the sea and is absolutely beautiful. We opted for the near vertical route the wrong way up a one-way street! Not intentionally I might add. While I leaned over the tank to keep the front wheel down a rider on a ZX9 coming the down the hill had both feet firmly on the ground while he soiled himself and nodded anxiously at us.

At the Conway end of the Orm we were greeted by a Polish biker and his girlfriend who were watching Kite surfers riding the waves and the skies with equal enthusiasm.

The scenic route home was beckoning so we headed for Prestatyn and Flint. Now this where my tale takes a sombre turn.

We ambled through the picturesque countryside and through Prestatyn town straight into my hell! We wanted to find a beach but at every turn we were met with wall⁢to⁢wall Motor⁢home parks! I yanked the throttle and screamed away from these demon⁢infested hovels. Alison held on for dear life as the wind purged my clothing of their fowl stench… actually it wasn't quite that bad but, compared to where we had been there was no comparison. I was incredulous; a majority of these people live on cramped estates or in tower blocks and then come away for more of the same!

A grounded cruise liner then distracted us. We parked up and rushed down a towpath to find the behemoth was actually locked behind gates. I was too tired to attempt any bravo two zero style antics so took some pictures and listened to the creaks and howls of the wind passing through it's now empty cabins. It turns out that it was a moored party ship in the seventies that was closed down for health and safety reasons.

The ship served as a marker for further decent into ruin.

The further we moved toward Flint, the more evidence we saw of closed industry and the effect on communities. Derelict houses and general architectural debris were a testament to a once thriving industry. Not all industry has gone though.

The estuary dividing Flint and Queensferry houses some of the most dominating man‑made industrial structures I have ever seen. We had to stop on a suspension bridge to take in one building with the sun setting behind it.

And with that melancholy hanging over us we made our home through the Bug infested lanes of Cheshire. All the way back we quietly contemplated how lucky we are not to be reliant on one single local industry and how that single provider of income could cause so much devastation to our lives.



-Slob the fortunate

I finished work just before 2pm on Wednesday.  Had asked Jamie if he could have everything ready so we could head straight off (child free time is precious)!  I ran upstairs, changed from work attire to leather jeans and a nice warm top! (Hate to be cold)!  Jamie of course was still sitting at the computer – on the phone to Jake!  40 minutes later we finally left the house!

I love going on the bike – but I am a bit of a scaredy cat.  So we start off reasonably well, Jamie is obviously taking it easy with me on the back.  I’m enjoying the countryside and relaxing – thinking of my fish and chips at the seaside.  We hit the A55 and fuck me – Jamie shouts  "Hold On" – and were off, I fumbled frantically for Jamie's jacket loops to hold on to (no sissy bar).  I can't tell you about all the scenic places we passed as everything was a blur!   I clung on for dear life as the wind threatened to pull my head off and my whole body tensed against the battering wind!

We arrived in super quick time!  Quite lucky really as I was starving!  Unfortunately as I got off the bike, I realised that my legs had locked!  So I dismounted as elegantly as possible – which didn't look pretty at all!  After admiring the castle and the picturesque town we headed off for dinner in Llandudno.

Jamie decided to ride like an absolute tit for the rest of the journey.  He filtered really fast on a single lane carriageway – which scared the shit out of me.  Then he kept going really far over on the roundabouts and grinding his foot pegs – couldn't care less about the bike, but was starting to worry that the side of my boots might catch on the floor and I'd be flung off of on the road and into incoming traffic!

Anyway – we arrived in one piece (more luck than judgement) – and found a nice little café that sold cheap fish and chips.  Decided to have a walk around as we're normally there with the kids and can't look properly as they get bored!  Went on to the pier to have ice cream, was looking for some seaside tat to buy the girls but couldn't find anything.


We thought we'd take the scenic route back – I was more than relived as it meant that Jamie couldn't ride like a maniac on the dual carriageway!  Jamie and I love to go off the beaten track and find different things to look at.  So we were really pleased when we spotted a disused ferry in dock.  Couldn't get on it – which was a shame as it looked really spooky.  Found a typical 'ole sea dog' to talk to about the ferry and it's history.  I couldn't really hear him as his bloody dog would not stop barking in my pissing ear!

Time was getting on so we headed for home.  Left home 2.40pm – arrived back 10pm!  I was bloody knackered and had to be at work by 8.30 the next day – unlike lazy fucker Jamie who lay in bed most of the morning!

Still a good time was had!

Alison x